City Earwigs

Do they have the same money
In that there London?

Do you mean, ‘like a sport’?
No, I mean, ‘like a disease’.

They’re not paedophiles, they’re gym teachers.

She was drunk but she could still nod her head
And say stuff.

This started off as a dead nice story
But now it’s turned into date rape or something.

Poetry.net

One Response to “City Earwigs”

  1. Hi,
    i just read some of your work. some of the images you use are good, but your poetry lacks narrative. you’re not careful enough with your words. poetry should communicate a message with absolute clarity and consistency. This poem is piecemeal and not just difficult, but impossible to decode because it lacks narrative. City earwigs is a clever title for a poem that seems to be about overheard conversations but there’s no justification for using earwigs – you don’t pursue the insect image. Is the narrator/listener insect like? The poem is disjointed but at the same time doesn’t fully give the impression of ‘snatches of conversation’ that the earwig overhears. There’s no character or location. Even the most surreal poetry creates a mood, a location or a consistent quality. The lack of narrative also means that the like a sport like a disease has no anchor so isn’t accessible to your reader. The date rape comment is stark and startling but needs some context too. hope you don’t mind the constructive criticism. I think all poets need it to refine their work.
    Ben

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